I was rummaging through the desk trying to find the nail clippers, but to no avail. I had chipped a finger nail and wanted to cut it off properly. I had spent past 15 minutes trying to find it, and finally decided to give up and yelled for my sister to come and find it for me. ‘It must be in the bathroom, where it usually is’, she said impatiently. But I had already gone through all the stuff there a few minutes ago, more than once. So I yelled for her again and heard her complaining. She finally got up, came to the bathroom, opened the drawer and pointed it to me. It was right there in front of me all the time and I didn’t see it. “See I told you its right there. You should go and have your eyes checked”.
That’s when it hit me. You know, there’s a lot of things that you want out of life. And life offers you immense opportunities to that extend but more often than not, we are just so busy with our other endeavors that we fail to take advantage of the opportunities presented to us. Later when we look back and look at all the lost opportunities, we try our best to get a hold on them, but to no avail. It usually is always too late by the time we realize what we have missed, and what might never be ours to take because we missed it, or rather ignored it, when it was presented to us.
Often times it so happens that, those opportunities that we ignored show up again. But there's always a catch. You either don’t need it or its not yours to take anymore. You had your chance and you lost it. That is the reason why I say that ‘People come into your life for a reason, and its very important that you figure out why, before its too late’. Never take anything for granted, look at everything as if you will never see it again. If you like something, hold onto it and never let go. Who knows, what path life will take you on and if you will ever have a second chance of experiencing the same things again.
Finally the crossroad that he had been waiting for came into sight, or at least he thought so. He just hoped that it wasn't another mirage like before. He couldn't control his anxiety and decided to quicken his pace. The straps of his heavy bag were already biting into his shoulder, but he continued, lest he miss it again. There was still that feeling on the back of his mind that kept stomping on his optimism, telling him that this was just another mirage and he should not get his hopes high. But nevertheless, hope was the only thing that had kept him sane and alive for so long and persuaded his optimism to rise every time it fell.
And then he saw it, there it was. Was that smoke what he saw. He couldn't believe his eyes. He had seen a lot of mirages but never smoke in them before. This was it. This was the real deal. He bagan to jog and the run. Yes there it was, the bus that would take him to the paradise city. He had finally arrived at the first crossroad in time for the bus to Paradise city.
There was a big puff of smoke, and then a bigger one followed. He bag to sprint. No. Not now. Not now when he was so close. The bus began to move, and he tried to pick up his pace. He gave everything he had to catch it. He ran and he ran. Sweat pouring down like rain. He was literally drenched. He could feel his feet cramping up but he didn't give in yet. It was just an arms reach away. He could catch it. He would still be able to get on board, and then he fell. His legs cramped and he got a stitch in his stomach. He tried to get up but fell down again, and again, and again. And then he saw the smoke disappearing in the distance.
He just lay there. He could see the moon behind the clouds in the east and the sun in the west. And he just lay there. He was falling down, down into a dark abyss. There seemed to be no end to it. He had a funny feeling in his stomach. The feeling that you get when the elevator of a skyscraper first starts its journey down. The feeling of weightlessness. He was falling down and now he was afraid. he opened his eyes and saw the stars again. He sat up, had a small meal, some water and the began walking towards the next crossroad. There was still hope left in him. The hope that he would be able to fulfill his dream some day. Yesterday, he wasn't even sure if it was possible. Today he almost missed it, no no, he almost caught it, almost fulfilled his dream. So that was some definite progress. He still had hope.
Minutes became hours, hours became days and days turned to weeks when finally the next crossroad came into his sight. The bus was waiting. The anxiety in him began to ebb again and he could feel the adrenaline rush. He took a few quick steps and began to jog. Should he run faster, will the bus wait for him long enough, should he sprint? He suddenly stopped and stood still looking at the bus, with all the questions still buzzing in his mind. And finally he decided. If it was meant for him to get on it, maybe it didn't matter if he ran or not. He would be able to get on it regardless. And; he just walked.
As the new year drew ever closer, my thoughts reflected back to the start of 2009, thoughts of new beginnings, new opportunities, new possibilities, resolutions, hope. Of the past that I wanted to leave behind and of the future that I had wanted to embrace. Nothing turned out the way I had anticipated for 2009. Failure after failure. One bad news after the other. There was no stopping the deluge. It had probably been the lowest I had ever been in my life so far. So as another new year approached, my thoughts went back. My hopes for the coming year again began to lift. But I always had a bad feeling in the back of my head about another let down, and I was very wary of what I hoped for.
But then, when I tried to pen down my experiences of 2009, I remembered all the good things that had happened in the most unexpected ways possible. I would say that I had never had a better time in my life till now. Of the best time that I got to spend with my family after a long long time. The small but memorable vacation we had, after what could very well be said as ages. The opportunity that came my way unexpectedly, of meeting my dearest old friends whom I haven't seen in about half a decade. My small but very good spiritual trip to the various religious places in India.
Then an unexpected but very pleasant visit by a dear old friend. The amazing weekends we had together, which were just becoming better and better every week. Then a long hiatus to the East Coast that I had been looking forward to for a long time.
In short, 2009 for me has been kind of an eye opener. It gave me time to think of some events of the past. It taught me a lot too in terms of economical living and the value of money. It made me see the wide disparity present in society today. It made me think a lot. It reunited me with some of the best friends that I am sure not to lose touch again with. It showed me that some things in life are just not meant to be, while others will come into your life weather you like it or not. The difference lies in the fact weather you welcome them happily like you welcome old pals or you detest them like unwanted guests.
As for 2010, there already has been a very pleasant and unexpected surprise visit by another very dear friend whom I have literally not seen in a decade. I hope that the rest of 2010 is as much fun as 2009 was, if not better. And I wish the same for everyone of you. I know its quiet late but, Happy New Year to you all.
My good friend and CEO came by my cube last Friday to wish me in advance and ask me how I felt, now that I was about to cross the quarter century milestone. I looked and him and smiled. My whole life so far zipped past me.
I felt like I was leaving behind the best years of my life. A part life which I had never taken so seriously, but still remains the best remembered in my life of all the other parts. I wish I could relive some of them again someday. I have changed a lot some would say, but friends really close to me tell I haven't changed a bit. I have picked up many good habits, and maybe a few bad ones too along the way. I have had many happy moments which would always remain imprinted in my mind forever. First time I was recognized in front of everyone at school, first time I lived on my own away from my parents, my first crush, first time I was on a stage, my first.. no OUR first hugely successful science project, first time I stayed in a hostel, my first infatuation, my last days at school, the going away parties, first time slogging for over 14 hours a day, first time I felt free after junior college, my days in undergrad, the practicals and the viva's, days spent at the canteen or at movie theaters away from classes, the day I got my student visa, the day I landed here in US, when I got my first part time job, the day I got my first paycheck, the summer holidays, the projects and the impossible people we had to deal with at school, my first football game, the day I got a job offer, the day I left school, my graduation, my first big paycheck, the day I bought my car, the weekends and the parties, the long drives and the adventures. Yes I will remember them all.
The journey has been long and sometimes tiring, although I have enjoyed most of it, just as I enjoy my long drives. I did pick up a lot of friends on the way, some of who will remain with me forever, while others might not. Some of them rode on along with me for a while which seemed but like the blink of an eye. I wish some of them to have stayed longer, but their destination had come and they had to go. Well anyways, I told my CEO that I felt like I was getting old, and he started laughing. He said I have a long life ahead. Heck he's close to 50 and still thinks that he has a long way to go. He said it doesn't matter how old you are, what matters is the quality of life you have lived, with happiness and joy, without regrets, remembering the good old times and always looking forward. I do have some regrets, but otherwise I have lived a happy life so far. Life is long, and it just keeps going on and on. Although I feel like I am leaving behind the best years of my life, the truth is, to quote one of my friends "It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives".
-- Life is a journey, not a destination, happiness lies along the way, and not at the end of the road, for then, the journey is over and 'tis too late.
I stepped out of my house early in the morning and found the streets drenched in rain. It was beautiful with overcast skies, a cool breeze and a very pleasant temperature. Felt so fresh early in the morning. Went in, put on my shoes and went for a long run. I wish its like this everyday. Hey I even got a free car wash :P.
I guess you all know the importance of first impressions. One should always make a very good first impressions as it will take him/her a long way. But I have begun to doubt if it can be relied upon. I think (its my opinion, if you don't agree, then I don't care.), that the first impression should not be given so much of an importance. Why, you ask. Because, it is often misleading if not complete. People put on fake impressions just so they are able to achieve whatever it is that they are striving for. In my opinion, its the last impression that should take the limelight. For example, when you leave a job, its very important that you leave the right way. My manager, Tony (The best and only manager I ever had) keeps telling me this over and over again. Not that he suspects that I may leave, but just so I know. Its very important that you never leave in the middle of a project that you are a part of (If you can help it that is). And even when you leave, its very important that you make sure that the person who's filling in your shoes, finds it really easy to do what ever you used to do. If you do otherwise, then no matter how good you were at work, people are going to bitch about you a lot for making their lives miserable. Not only a job, but say even when you leave school and say good bye to your friends. You should make sure that you take their contacts and gives yours to them. You talk to them or not later, thats a completely different matter. What matters is that you let them know that you care about them enough to ask for their contact info and give them yours. Why contact info?? Well, thats what came to my mind right off the bat and I mentioned it. It can be anything to let them know that you valued their friendship. A memorable gift or may be a going away treat... yaaay... I am all up for that one.... What I want to emphasize is that, the memories of the last impression, live longer than the first impression. In some cases they are eternal. And the if the last impression that you left was not a good one, then even though the first impression might have been extraordinary, it does not matter any more. The last opinion that they have of you is tarnished and completely different now and it would remain that way till you take the effort to change it. So my dear friends and readers, no matter which walk or aspect of life it is, always make that extra effort to learn the art of saying good bye the way it should be said and done. That reminds me of a very nice english composition we had when I was in 10'th standard "The art of saying good bye". Don't worry, I'll hunt it down for your benefit :).
Hey guys, I hope you all had and are still having a wonderful weekend. I didn't do much myself. Did a lot of reading, watching movies and yeah a lot of thinking. About the past, present and the future. I know that there's not much meaning or any purpose in this post, but I just wanted to write what was in my mind. I was very ambitious in my teen years. I was very creative and had so many ideas and even made some of them come true. I can confidently say this 'coz I did receive that compliment from someone who was a very good friend at that time.
Somewhere down the lane I lost it. I became like so many other stereotype people who are very ordinary without any creativity, who can never think out of the box. I stopped drawing and painting which were my favorite hobbies. I stopped reading books, lost sight of my dreams and goals.
Better to ask twice than to lose your way once.
When I came to the US, I had made up my mind that I should start a fresh life, get back into doing everything I liked to do, but the pressure and stress of school here didn't give me the liberty to do everything I wanted though. I started reading books, had new dreams and goals, had some new ideas and I did pretty well then I had anticipated in school. I finished school soon and started working, but now what. Today I look back and think of so many things that I could have or actually should have done. I think of the lost chances and hopes when I should have made better decisions and should have stood my ground. Maybe thats what life is about, isn't it? Its never fair to everyone, infact didn't I tell earlier once that it's never fair in your favor. But yeah past is past and you should never dwell in it, you should only learn from it and make sure you don't repeat the same mistakes. Ever again. And I would like to tell you this one thing, may sound strange but still, you should never live in the future as well. It's not wrong to have dreams and goals, but you should not live in those dreams and let them spoil you present for you. Yes 'present', that is where you should spend your life, don't lament the past and don't worry about he future, just enjoy the present. Its a difficult thing to master, but am still trying. Wow, I am surprised how this post turned out to be, can't believe where I started and ended :). Anyways as the title suggests, these are just inane ramblings that are going on in my head at 'present'. I just wanted to write something, sorry if you think I wasted your time. Enjoy the rest of the weekend. Take care.
I have come up with a few "lessons well learned" in my life so far. Its not a complete list but a good list nevertheless. Hope you find them interesting and useful too.
If everything is going very smooth, check everything again.
When everything around you seems impeccable and when you can see nothing in your path towards that small speck of light which is your door to success, check everything and make sure that the small speck of light you see is not actually a mirror reflecting the actual door to success, which is on a completely different path, strewn around with every hurdle you can ever think of. Life is never fair to anyone and as Calvin says, its never ever unfair in your favor (hope you got that).
You never get everything you ask for.
Oh yeah, this is so very true and I've had so much experience in it. If you wish for a few things to happen, the most insignificant of those would happen for sure not matter what, but your dearest wish that you wanted to be true will never happen no matter how much you yearn or however long you wait for it to happen. There may have been exceptions for others, but not for me. Yet.
Girls are hard to understand and are unpredictable.
Well I've had limited experience in this category, but whatever experience I've had will surely last me a lifetime. [Didn't find a suitable picture for this...Any suggestions are welcome.]
Never lose you confidence.
Never ever in you entire life, not even for a minute, should you think that you are a loser. There are times in your life when you get lucky and accomplish something great, that even you thought you would never be able to do. Use such accomplishments in you favor by thinking that you got it right because you are good at what you do, not because you got lucky (sometimes that's what is actually true and you are being modest 'bout it). Build up your confidence. But its also very important to not be overconfident and put too much on your plate than you can eat.
Be optimistic.
Being optimistic almost aways goes hand in hand with being confident. But there is a slight difference. Being optimistic in the face of trouble doesn't actually mean that you should always think positive. In my opinion, it means that you should always be on the look out for those negative (pessimistic) effects too but be positive (optimistic) about them and think of solutions to solve problems. Being confident is believing in yourself that you can achieve those solutions.
Treasure your friends
There are a few situations in life when you feel lonely and helpless, when you are beyond the reach of any family or when although you are in reach of family, you can't ask them for any help. Only person that can come to your aid at such times is a friend. Never lose them, for they are not something which can be found if lost. Friends never ask for much, only a 'hi' or a 'hello' once in a while will ensure an everlasting friendship.
There are more but these are the ones that came to my mind right away. As a reader if you disagree with any, or if you want to add to the list, you are welcome to start a discussion.
Music: it has been my friend for a long time. A very good friend indeed which I'm sure I can never lose. I've loved music for as long as I can remember. I even tried my hand at it once but soon found out that it was not my cup of tea. I listen to it all the time, on my way to and from work, when I'm reading a book, while I'm in bed asleep and on my long runs(Which are but very few :) ). It helps me get relieved of stress, it gives me hope when I listen to some with such beautiful lyrics, and I'm at peace when I listen to ones with such soothing notes. It brings back sweet memories, even bitter ones some times but then again I'm still at peace. Sometimes it makes me think of my life, what it has been till now and where it is heading towards to now. It fills me with life. It reminds me of my friends, and those "Happy Days" when I was at college. Those days when we used to bunk classes and go to the movies. Even getting thrown out of classes was fun. The funniest one I can remember was when my Math professor (can't remember his name) branded my friends (4 of them) and I as terrorists for disrupting the peace in class. He called us the Lashkar-e-Taiba group. We had such a good laugh after class and for the rest of the semester ...LOL... Sorry I digress. So I was talking about music. Sometimes it's nostalgic, sometimes its sad, sometimes very happy, and sometimes it fills me full of adrenaline. Sometimes its my only company when I'm all alone and need someone to talk to, sometimes it shows a new meaning to my life and sometimes it shows me how happy and content I'm and I don't regret anything that has happened in my life so far at that moment. It accompanies me everywhere, no matter what I'm doing. I even remember listening to music just before my job interview. And yes, I had been listening to one particular song all this while, when I was writing this post. Here it is for you to enjoy (Although its Telugu, I am sure everyone would enjoy it)...
I don't know what would happen to me without music. I thank all the people out there in the music industry for their beautiful gift.
Everything you do in life, you do it for a reason, for a goal that you have set for yourself. it's not been any different for me either. I went to school when I was a kid for a reason, to be aware of the society and life around me. I went to college after that for the same reason. I worked hard in college for another reason, to get the best job possible. I tried hard for a job for another reason, I wanted to be independent. But there was another reason, why I didn't take up the first job that came my way but instead chose the dependent life for a couple of more years and came to this so called land of opportunities. But what happens to life if that reason dies? What if there is nothing to live upto for? There are a few reasons that I can give, like to support my parents in future, to be successful blah blah blah which are always there. But these are not reasons good enough to lead an exciting life. These are not the reasons, that would force you to accelerate through life or to live on the edge or to take risks. These are reasons that are good only if you want to cruise through life. And I believe that life without risks is no life worth living. I want to get back on to the fast lane again, but a good reason is the ticket that would get me there. And thats what I'm living for now, to find a good reason to get back the life as it was.
Sorry for the long silence guys but have been a little busy lately with work and yeah, what I've been fearing for a long time happened a few days ago, my faithful old laptop died. I hope I'll be able to revive it back. Anyways, enough of my disquiets. What I wanted to write today is about "People and Places". How certain People and certain Places can change your life, change the way you think, the way you look at others, the way you live, the way you talk and hear things and the way you feel. Yeah, how they can change your life altogether. I've been fortunate enough to have traveled a lot (well atleast more than an average person in India), and live in almost drastically different social and economic environments so far in my life. I am happy for how my life has molded me so far regarding most aspects of my character, but the others, I don't know if I'll ever be able to change them. I was born and bought up in a small village in India, but not long after I moved out of it an landed in a small township, and then later in one of the largest cities in India followed by a small city later, where I spent the last year of my life before flying away from my beloved home country. It was in that small city, that I learnt life's most important lessons and met some of the most beautiful people in my life so far. When I say beautiful, I don't (only) mean physical beauty, which is but skin deep. It was in that city that I lived away from my family, alone, for the first time ever. I used to look forward for a call from mom/dad and also to meet my sweet and beautiful sis on weekends who was staying in a hostel then (I stayed as a paying guest for a year). I made some good and ever lasting friends during those last 3 years of schooling (high school). I never had developed close friendship with people before, 'coz by the time I was close to them and was at the point of trusting them, we used to move to a different place. But this place was different, it didn't take long for me to trust people here. My best year in the place was the academic year of 98-99 when I was in hostel. I learned and experienced the term sacrifice and felt the joy that comes from helping your friends. The loyalty and trust we had developed was absolute. That was the year when I had some crushes for the first time and realised it. Had some daring adventures, challenging some unlikely people (our warden :-)) and taking care of friends when they were low. That place taught me what it was to love and be loved. It showed me the pain of loss. When I moved out of the city to go to the neighboring place for the next two years, I saw how difficult it was to find faithful friends like I had back at school. I had not been so close to my parents, as I've been with my friends during those years. Those were the years when I developed an "Independent Lifestyle" kind of attitude. I no longer depended on other people to make my decisions, in some cases not even my parents. That has taken me a long way in my mostly successful life so far. I've never forgotten those friends and never will. Fast-forward 4 years down my memory lane and I was in the land of opportunities. My independent lifestyle helped me a lot to get settled into the new place and make some nice new friends here too. Los Angeles was kind of a dream come true for me. I have always wanted to be able to go to the beach often. The university and the social life were so different here yet so much more fun. The competition here was fierce, yet I fared well and was happy for it until I lost something which I had been yearning for years. It was then that I saw how much of an introvert and reserved person I am, and how much I hesitate when it comes to some decisions, and how less about my life, I discuss with my faithful friends. But what is lost is lost forever and I cannot get it back, and I think since then I've been living life the way I should have been for a long time.
Thanks a lot friends for being there for me and giving me hope whenever I was in need of it. Thank you all very much for all your support and encouragements. And thanks a lot for for being my friend...
I have been thinking of jotting this down for quiet a long time now, but this post took simply too long. Mainly because it has been two years since I set foot in this "land of opportunity" and have never recorded any of my thoughts ever since. It took me quiet a while to recollect and sort them out. Sorry for hurrying in the end but I have only one excuse for it, I was too lazy and wanted to be done with it. So here it goes... Long long ago on a beautiful morning (actually only a little over two years ago), I woke up to find my first acceptance letter for MS on the bedside desk. I was enthralled with joy. Little did I know of the the roller coaster ride that was awaiting me. Within a couple of weeks, I got accepted into all the colleges I had applied for, except one. Thanks to my friends and family who helped me choose the school where I was to slog for the next two years, away from all joy and enjoyment. Naah...I will take that back, I did enjoy and lot at USC, LA's been the best place I have been to in US so far. Anyways, the day of my departure came close and I started spending my time giving treats to my friends who had stuck by me all my life. I was lucky to have boarded the flight and escape the floods that broke in Mumbai the next day, delaying the departure of a lot of my soon to be new friends. So I finally landed in LA and got out of the customs with almost no trouble (I had a hard time convincing the guy that the Mango pickle didn't contain any meat). So there I was out of the airport with no idea where to go (I had not received any reply from the Indian association about my temporary accommodation yet). After thinking deeply for a long time I decided that it was the school's responsibility to accommodate me, as they were the one who accepted me in the first place. yeah I know that's bullshit but I had no where else to go. So they put me in the undergrad dorms (it was still summer and students had not yet arrived) for 25 bucks a night. In the next couple of weeks I got settled into a nice cozy apt with three other guys one of whom has stuck by me ever since. The school commenced soon after and my life after that was hell. So many homework and so much work (Labs, part times, study and partying was simply too much when everything was put together). I studied more and in that one semester than all four years of my undergrad put together. The following semesters were equally bad (better when it came to partying) if not worse, except for the last one when I had landed myself with an internship. I made a lot of good friends on the way who I know would stick to me forever. I thank you guys for being there for me always. I wish you all good luck with all your endeavors if you have not yet achieved them. I dedicate this song to you all
It's been a wonderful experience knowing you all and having you as a part of my life. Thanks a ton ...
The month of August went by like a storm. Was mostly uneventful but here are a few things I did and achieved for the first time ever...
Won a beer in Foosball at work.
Worked till 10pm at work. It was fun as we had lunches and dinners together.
Tasted Whisky and had vodka with cranberry juice.
Read The Alchemist for the first time and have been thinking a lot about my past and present (and to a certain extend, my future) ever since.
Regained contact with a very old friend after almost a decade. I learned never to make conclusions by knowing only one side of a conversation (and that too not entirely).
Crashed my external hard drive and lost all of my precious data. Hope I will be able to recover at least some of it.
Traveled by Amtrak for the first time. The journey was slow, uneventful, colorless and boring although a lot more comfortable and cheaper than a flight.
Decided never would work for a big corporation where employees (even the CEO) are treated like cars in a parking lot, after seeing one.
Blew a hundred dollars on something which I had thought I would never experience. (Guys who know what I am talking of, shut the fuck up).
Went on a 3 mile trek with friends in Yosemite. The views were breathtaking and the water falls were amazing.
This post has been lying as a draft in my docs for too long now. Although I've figured out to a certain extend as to why things had gone wrong, and think that some of the conclusions drawn have become obsolete by now, but I spent too much time to write this damn thought and so am going to post it anyways. But one thing I would like to tell everyone, When things decide to go wrong, there is nothing stopping them. Its what your destiny was meant to be, maybe for your own good too.
"The Alchemist", a book which you can read infinite number of times and still crave to read one more time. Well, so I read it once again today, my third time so far. This time I read it envisioning myself as the protagonist and associating various events in the book to those in my life and I began to wonder about my achievements. I had many dreams (interpret as goals) while I was growing up (When I say dreams, I don't mean the dreams I had between Age 1 and 13 :-) ), and I had always been the kind of person, who's very optimistic and likes to take his own decisions in life. And that has helped me a great deal to get to where I am today. I had my share of luck, burdens, choice, failures, hardships, risks and successes in life. And so I asked myself, have all my dreams been fulfilled? I wondered for some time if that was ever possible and finally declared that it is an impossible thing to happen. Why, you ask? Any guesses? No? C'mon you can do better than that...well OK, I concluded that as life goes on, so do your dreams, I mean you have new dreams everyday (or every night) right (If not you should seriously think of getting some help). So there is no way that all your dreams can ever be fulfilled. So I rephrased that question and asked myself have all my dreams, that I had a few years ago been fulfilled? It took me a while to recollect what my dreams were a couple of years ago. And finally when I tried to answer this question, only one dream kept coming back to my mind which was once my dearest, but was never fulfilled. I tried to figure out as to what went wrong there. Why did I fail that one time? And I realized that I had not always been that "optimistic" and "taking my own decision" kind of person in my life that I had envisioned to be. There have been certain episodes in my life when I was very negative, hesitant and very afraid of loss. I was so afraid that I never even tried to turn that dream into reality. I was happy the way things were and continued to live on. But "change" is inevitable in nature and so is it when it comes to our lives. Things changed so drastically in such short time that my dream hit a hard deadline that had been set for it a long time ago which I had but ignored. It was too late to make things right then and I had to give up. The only way it could still have become a reality is if I could somehow go back in time, which is all but impossible. So I decided today, never again to be pessimistic, 'coz the one time I had been like that, I had to pay a heavy price for it, and I don't want to feel sad for something I could've avoided, ever again. And so to all those who are reading, I say this: Dream big, never hesitate, never be afraid unless its upon your life, take calculated risks and always be positive. Never think how things went wrong when you fucked up, but think what you gained when things went wrong. And so here I am today, ready to read "The Alchemist" yet once again.
When life seems a tough battle, for a while shift yourselves to the world of imaginations....
Look into the mirror...Your eyes... The depth...They reflect something... Catch the message...They have volumes to speak.... View the image in your mind...Flutter... Glide...Through the time...See the invisible... Gape in it...Hear the silence...Its got a rhythm... Breath in the vacuum...Get mesmerized...Feel the flaws within... Dance along with it...Dive into the river of belief...Get drowned... Find yourselves standing on he edge of a rock...Stop...Don't walk... Smell the mist around...Spread your arms... Embrace the rejuvenated feeling... Now come back...Retrieve yourself...
Discover the possibility of the impossible, the presence of the invisible, in the joy of being alive, 'coz as a human, you still can do a lot, with time.
So what the nostalgia is about?? Well I was going through some very old picture collection I had, and came across the pictures from my school. Such beautiful days those were. We didn't have anything to worry about, nothing to disrupt the fun we had in the hostel, nothing to dampen our spirits (except the early morning yoga classes ..which I am thankful for now :-|).
I can still visualize our dorm room and my friends. The brightest playing plastic-ball-exam-pad cricket with the youngest kids in the hostel...The strongest busy with his paintings in another corner...And the sanest busy in his own thoughts in yet another corner...and a few others, Juniors, (who used to practically stay in our:10'th class; dorm) sitting and chatting. The shrieks and yells of the girls who used to stay in the floor below. And the puffs of smoke coming from the kitchens in a yet, another floor below.
The weekends were something we used to enjoy the most. Trying to be rebels by playing the only game yet the best, which was banned for us: Cricket, keeping a kid on the watch for us. Booing and calling out to our friends who used to wander by our windows. People trying to talk to their girlfriends away from the prying eyes of the wardens.
That was the place where I met some of my best friends to date, those friends who have always been there for me, always helped me and always encouraged me. The best part was the school itself, which taught me some of the best lessons in life. That was the place where I was a student to the best teachers ever.
But that was a long time ago. Times have changed. And like everything else, the school has changed with time. Like everything the school has also been the target of a cataclysm called development. The hostel has been closed. The number of students has been dwindling. Old teachers are leaving. The place around the school is becoming a concrete forest. That once serene, secluded, quiet and beautiful place has now vanished. I wish I can turn back the time and relive that part of my life again.
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