Time to Sharpen Your Brains ...!

Hey people, today I decided to post a few brain teasers and help you sharpen up your brains. :-) ... Although some of these are silly, they make perfect sense. I won't be posting the answers now. Write down your answers as comments and lets see how many of you get these simple puzzles right. I will post the answers in a few days when I think the time is right. :-) So here we go

1. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?
2. A boat has a ladder that has six rungs, each rung is one foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water. The tide rises at 12 inches every 15 minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at it's highest, how many rungs are under water?
3. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What color is the bear?
4. Is half of two plus two equal to two or three?
5. How much dirt would be in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide that has been dug with a square edged shovel?
6. What can go up a chimney down, but can't go down a chimney up?
7. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in the center field?
8. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?

Enjoy your day with a puzzling mind.
Please look in the comments for answers.

A Wrong Man In The Worker's Paradise ...

The man had never believed in mere utility. Having had no useful work, he indulged in mad whims. He made little pieces of sculptures, men, women and castles and he painted. Thus he wasted his time on all that was useless and needless. People laughed at him. He spent his earthlife in useless work and yet after death, the gates of heaven opened wide for him and he was sent to the Workers Paradise.
But this newcomer did not fit well with the scheme of things in Workers Paradise. He lounged in the streets absently and jostled the hurrying men. He lay in the green meadows or close to the fast flowing stream. A girl went hustling-bustling everyday to a silent torrent (silent since in the Workers Paradise even a torrent wouldn't waste its energy singing), to fill her pitchers.
"A - Ha" she cried with concern. "You have no work in hand, Have you?"
The man sighed "Work! I've not a moment to spare for work."
The girl did not understand his words and said "I shall spare some work for you to do, if you like." She further said "What kind of work would you like?"
"Would you give me one of your pitchers, one that you can spare?"
"A pitcher? You want to draw water from the torrent?"
"No. I shall draw pictures on your pitcher."
The girl was annoyed. "A picture indeed! I have no time to waste on such as you. I'm going." And she walked away.
But everyday they met and everyday he said the same thing to her. She yielded at last. She gave him one of her pitchers. The man started painting. When he had completed his work, the girl held up the pitcher and stared at its sides, her eyes puzzled.
Brows drawn, she asked "What do they mean, all those lines and colors?"
The man laughed "Nothing. A picture may have no meaning and serve no purpose."
At home, away from prying eyes, she held it in the light, turned it round and round and scanned the painting from all angles. At night she lighted a candle and scanned it again in silence. For the first time in her life she had seen something that had no meaning and no purpose at all. She saw the painter standing by the torrent and asked him in confusion,
"What do you want of me?"
"Only some more work from your hands."
"What kind of work would you like?"
"Let me make a colored ribbon for your hair."
"And what for?"
"Nothing."
Ribbons were made, bright with colors. The busy girl of Workers Paradise had now to spend a lot of time everyday tying the colored ribbon around her hair. Much work was left unfinished. In Workers Paradise, work of late had began to suffer. Many people who had been active earlier were idle now, wasting their precious time on useless things like paintings and sculptures. The elders became anxious. A meeting was called. The aerial messenger also hurried in, bowed before the elders and made a confession.
"I brought a wrong man in this paradise. It is all due to him."
The man was summoned. Stifled the president said
"This is no place for the kind of you. You must leave."
The man sighed in relief and gathered up his brush and paints. But as he was about to go, the girl of the silent torrent came up tripping and cried
"Wait a moment! I shall come with you."

Adding a li'l fun at work ...!

I came across this list while I was browsing. These are some actual radio exchanges between pilots and the ground control towers. Hope you have a good laugh...

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
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Tower:"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
Tower:"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
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From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f#@&ing bored, not f#@&ing stupid!"
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O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this...I've got the little Fokker in sight."
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A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
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A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off
Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."
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Tower:"Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way,after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower:"Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. ! Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
BR Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."
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One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.
Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."
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While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.
An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"
Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"
"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.
Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.

Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"

Happy Diwali To All ...

I wish all my readers a very Happy, Safe and a fun-filled Diwali.